For many youths today who are considering taking the sacred “journey to forever” called marriage, Nigerian writer and philanthropist, Betty Irabor has outlined some tips which she believes are a necessity in order to make a success out of it.
She shared the advice via social media as she and her husband, Media Icon, Soni Irabor, celebrated their 34th year together.
According to her, some of the major requirements are sacrifice, hard work, patience, trust and a solid foundation.
See how she puts it.
“What Soni and I have, has taken all of 34 years to build… So don’t for one minute think it happened overnight.
“We have walked on that street called hope but having each other makes it bearable. It requires sacrifice & it takes effort & nurturing. You want a good marriage? Work at it!
“Young couples seem to just want everything NOW NOW because they have to prove a point and impress their audience and in the process put a lot of pressure on their marriage. A good Marriage takes 2. It thrives on love in action not in mere words. Marriage requires commitment, empathy, TRUST (leave each other’s phones ALONE) don’t marry anyone you cannot trust!.
“Don’t overburden each other with over expectations and believe me the grass is not greener on the other side; avoid comparing your marriage/partner to others that seem rosier; water your own garden!
“In life, everything is turn by turn. Ojukokoro is a vice that destroys relationships! If you both can’t afford it then you don’t need it. Let you marriage grow organically. Do everything in love..don’t overburden each other with unrealistic demands.
“Marriage won’t necessarily fix a bad relationship especially if your partner has habits that he/she won’t let go. Fix those issues before you say I DO! If he or she is violent and slaps you around now, marriage won’t fix that, if he is insecure because you are a boss woman, that insecurity may linger and lead to resentment with time.”
Mrs Irabor went further to advise that one should not be pressurised into getting married; either by family or society in general or simply because other friends are.
“Be careful who you marry…don’t set yourself up because “all your friends are getting married… That’s a trap! Don’t over try to change your partner into who they are not; marriage isn’t about changing your partner’s essence rather it is about finding the good in each other. Celebrate each bite size milestone. A successful marriage starts from the foundation. If the foundation is not built on CHRIST how can it withstand the storms?
“To my young daughters and sons out there I say, don’t despise the days of humble beginnings &don’t allow anyone or society force u into a marriage you’re not ready for. If you marry in haste you will repent at leisure… As for me, I believe marriage rocks, but get ready to work it,” she wrote.